Since I started this website/blog, I had all these ideas and things I was hoping would happen that I could write about. But alas there has been little good in the Year of our Lord 2009 Browns season.
So today, as drove home from Cleveland Browns Stadium at seethed through a two hour ride home (an hour just to get out of the city), I have dissected that monstrosity of a game (if you even want to call it that, in fact I will refer to today's "game" as a scrimmage for the rest of this post).
Even before today we can all say that this season had no real expectations attached to it. Most experts foresaw the Browns winning anywhere from 2-4 games this season. I am going to be totally honest. I would be completely happy if we lost the following 9 games left this season as long as we were competitive.
Watching the Browns today was like watching that nerdy bunch of white guys in green jerseys that the Globe Trotters always kick the shit out of.
What I am most upset about is not one, but two things.
1. Derek "Lurch" Anderson. Countless times I watched you today take the snap (when your not fumbling it stare down WR Mohamad Massaquoi and throw it when he wasn't looking, not open yet, or covered by multiple defenders. I also noticed that you always throw to your left except when Massaquoi was lined up to the right. Now given that I have only high school football experience, I did not need to watch any film on you to figure this out. How quickly do you think that someone watching multiple games of film on you could have picked up on that and having played at the college and pro levels? Not to mention that is there job.
When sitting in my car sitting through multiple green lights and not moving anywhere, the postgame show threw out a jaw dropping, bench warming stat.
In the last three games, Lurch has managed the following:
Completing 23 of 70 in his last 3 games. With 1 TD/3 ints/5 sacks/4 fumbles.
WTF
With these kinds of numbers, Brady Quinn looks like the second coming of Christ and you nearly make me wish Charlie Frye was still in Cleveland (Ok maybe not, but you know what I mean).
Again in the redzone, inside the 10, you forced a ball to a receiver that had three guys on him. How many times can you keep doing this? Look to your 2nd or 3rd option, get them the ball and see if they can make the play for you! I think for the most part, we would rather settle for 3, than have you turn the ball over.
Your accuracy is like watching a drunk retard play darts at a bar after consuming multiple shots of whatever floats his/her boat. I think that by now, at this point in your career, you will never have the accuracy needed to make it in the NFL. You are the weakest link, goodbye.
Or are you.......
2. Eric Mangina.
Oh where do I begin.......
Lets start with the topic from just above. Your handling of Brady Quinn and Derek Anderson was beyond idiotic and laughable. I know truly believe that you have sat Brady Quinn in order to cut cost on next seasons cap. (for those of you who don't know, in Brady Quinn's contract, if he takes 70% of the snaps this season, he reaches and escalator in which he receives a large pay increase).
Speaking of someone who needs a pay raise, where the HELL was Joshua Cribbs at today?
1 rush for 1 yard......
To win games you get your best players the ball. Do you think the Cardinals made it to the Super Bowl last season by letting Larry Fitzgerald run around in the backfield as a decoy all season long? GET CRIBBS THE BALL AT LEAST 10 TIMES PER GAME.
You have to realize that we have two options in moving the ball down field. One is Dave Zastudil and the other is Josh Cribbs. If you haven't noticed, Cribbs is faster and better at scoring TD's.
Your post game conferences make me sick (like if I just ate cheese and a gallon of ice cream and I'm lactose intolerant kinda sick).
Here is the video.
Now don't tell me Brady Quinn is not the answers to our problems, we pretty much know this, but at least it's not Lurch who has a completion percentage in the low 40's right now.
Don't blame our performance on 12 guys having the flu (or flu like symptoms). Every team has this problem. Deal with it. (However I will give you props for not having a staph infection epidemic)
And do not even say that this team had no energy/intensity. You are the head coach, this is your job. Do whatever it takes to motivate your men to get the job done.
Try something similar to the seen in Major League where the skipper made a life size cut-out of the owner and every time they won a game they got to peal off a section.
Randy Lerner ain't the hottest guy in the world, but I would be in for a good laugh.
Finally, all off season we heard about you wanting players that bought into your system and were smart. Smarts is a good thing to have, but when Eric Wright is chasing after a scrambling Aaron Rodgers and didn't seem to be catching up. Forget smart, get some fast guys. Hell, I watched your secondary leave fullbacks and tight ends open all day. Right now I'll settle for guys who can see and aren't as stupid is as stupid does.
To start this season the NFL salary cap was $127 million. The Browns were estimated to be nearly $16 million under the number. With the trading of Braylon Edwards (and his $5.4 million salary), and our accumulated 11 draft picks next season, you better find a way to trade some of those to move up in the draft and use that money to find some FAST free agents this off season.
A quick funny story. At the game today I had the pleasure of sitting next to a true Packers fan. At the end of the 3rd quarter, the isles were full of spectators all leaving and making there way back to there cars. The woman looked at me and asked, "Is everyone leaving?". I replied with a simple shake of the head and a "yes". She replied back with a "Why, there is still a whole quarter left?". I thought for a second and could only come up with the following. "It's Cleveland, that's what we do."
Well Cavs, your season starts on Tuesday, the ball is now in your court.
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