Derek Anderson Your New Starting Quarterback

So that you are able to follow the posting below, I will refer to Derek Anderson as Lurch and Eric Mangini as Mantarded.

Mantarded, why would you let Lurch be the Browns Starting QB? Lurch has already thrown as many interceptions as Quinn has.

Mantarded, Please review the following:

Brady Quinn + 10 quarters = 3 int's

Lurch + 2 quarters = 3 int's

Quinn 2009 completion percentage: 60.8

Lurch 2008 completion percentage: 50.2
Even in his Pro-Bowl season his high was 56.5%.

My question to you Head Coach Mantarded is this:
What happens when Lurch fires 6 int's in the next two weeks? I mean really lets face it, Lurch's decision making is about as strong as Britney Spears. Remember when she drove with her baby in her lap?

When this happens (and even Al Davis can foresee this) what do you do then?
Brett Ratliff?!?!?!?

I think I speak for all of us when I say this, that you received a hell of a wake-up call during the preseason watching him show the world that he is the only quarterback to ever play in the NFL who was worse than Ken Dorsey.

What will you do, get Jeff Garcia, turn to Joshua Cribbs, what?

I swear to you Mantarded, Lurch flinging a pass to Braylon Edwards 30 yards downfield with 3 defenders on him is just the beginning. If you cannot see this then, you and your brother-in-law (Cleveland Indians GM) Mark Shapiro can go write a sitcom about two assclowns who enjoy nothing more than taking nothing and making it even more worthless.

If you need some extra pointers please contact the writers of any Lifetime Original show or that of the Gilmore Girls. (That ones for you Sean)

As much as I don't miss Romeo Crennel, I actually do every time I think of you Mantarded. I miss his Marvin Gaye voice, his penguin like waddle in and out of the tunnel each Sunday, and I miss his debonair mustache.

I think we should all look at what needs to be done, as much as it pains me to type this.

We need Tuna...That's right we need Bill Parcells.

If Tuna gets his rocks off by rebuilding crappy teams. Could it not be any better situation that what we see now in Cleveland?

Comments

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